VooDoo Duck and the Robotic Slugs.

I started to get up when I realized that my feathers had been sprayed with some kind of adhesive made of slug slime which for the most part looks like snot. I mean really have you ever looked at the back of a slug while their moving around? Where does all of that gunk come from, it’s like they have a never ending supply of it, kind of like when you have a cold and you can just keep blowing your nose or beak over and over again and the stuff just keeps coming. But, I digress. I had to figure a way out of that slug slime. Which, by the way, confuses me. How does a robotic slug produce slime? Maybe they bottle the stuff up from the real slugs, or maybe it is some kind of slime analog? At any rate my VooDoo training reminded me that slug slime, or even generic slug slime, can be defeated after hardening by performing the ritual dance of the MooCluckRoo Cows of the palace of Marble Slab. It was a challenge for me to recall all of the steps to the ritual dance, but I had very little time so I began. Suddenly I remembered that I could not perform the crucial final move of the ritual dance because I am a duck and I can't do the utter shake. What would I do, the Robotic Slugs were now upon me. They began to laugh as only slugs can laugh. It is kind of a low gurgled sound mixed with the sound of those Monks that used to put out albums in the 90's, if you can imagine that. The sound of their laughter was as annoying to me as it was disgusting. I immediately performed a backward flip with as much grace as Don Knotts would have on Dancing with the Stars. I landed hard on the edge of my chair busting the slime crust that had held me immobile. Then the flurry began in earnest. I removed my aforementioned bra and used its small hooks to grab the rough edges of the slugs robotic bodies. By now you're probably wondering why a duck would wear a bra. Well, its a funny story really. When I was just a young duckling I had plumage issues. The feathers on my chest laid as flat as they possibly could. This did not help when trying to impress the girls. So I began to wear a bra at night for a little lift in plumage. Explanations aside, I began my assault yanking the strap back I sent the robotic slug into a whirl starting a flurry of electrical sparks. It caught the place on fire! Now, the thing most people would think of when their residence erupts in flames is, man I should put this fire out or get the heck outta here. However, my morbid fascination focused on a bunch of flaming robotic slugs and how their bodies would shrink up. So to kill two stones with one bird, I grabbed a 40lb bag of salt I had in the cupboard and flung it directly at the slugs and their accompanying fire. Now, at this point I had decided this would make a great picture for my scrapbook so I searched for my digital camera and my scrapbooking scissors that make the edges of my pictures and pages look like little zigzags. I abandoned the scissors because I knew not to run with them and went straight for my digital camera. I snapped a few shots of withering, robotic spark shooting, charred slug remains. What a site! I guess the salt had an extra purpose too, because they withered up real small making it easier to throw them into the garbage disposal in my sink. Now, let me tell you one other thing before I go on. Ducks have a different sense of smell than people so it’s not an even comparison for me to tell you this, but flaming salted robotic slugs let off a stench unbeknownst by man. I will try to describe it in human terms. If you have ever smelled a backed up sewer pipe, its kinda like that, but them add the smell of burning flesh and rotten marmalade and then add a pinch of sugar, because I'm not sure you can sweeten it but hey its worth a try right? I had to get some air so I stepped outside...

Random thought number one. VooDoo Duck!

This story details the events that took place in the realm of the character VooDoo Duck.

VooDoo Duck was caught off guard by the flipping Chihuahua regiment. Once again our hero was in a seemingly hopeless situation. They had him surrounded and backed into a corner. But who can match the power of a VooDoo Duck? Can a half dozen rodent sized, bug-eyed, shaking dogs take him down? Not today at least! VooDoo Duck burst forth in a flurry of feathers and beak, disorienting the Mexican mutts. And with a final powerful QuAkE Quack he rended the Earth open and the Chihuahuas fell to their demise. Once again our hero emerged victorious, seemingly unscathed by their attack.
The flipping Chihuahua regiment was only the latest in a series of attacks on the life of VooDoo Duck. He had been hounded by the Hounds of Baskertown just last week as part of the bounty placed on his head for foiling the nefarious plot of the evil Mr. B. But now was not the time to reminisce. Now is the time to tell the tale and I will let him tell you in his own words.

Obviously, by now you know who I am. I have fought the good fight, for truth, justice, and whatever else people or ducks fight for (including the latest Elmo doll). I AM VOODOO DUCK!

Today started out well with the defeat of those moronic Chihuahuas. If anything they deserve to be beaten just for the sheer purpose of stopping them from yapping all of the time. I settled back in at my place. I waxed my feathers in case it rained and polished my beak as instruments of war must always remain clean. Tomorrow would be an equally exciting day but who knew what to expect? I certainly didn't, so I called a friend of mine in Australia and asked him how tomorrow was panning out, but he said he thought I might have to wait to find out for myself. I was hungry so I baked a fish and worm cake with a little ratrat sauce. Mmmm... delicioso! I pulled out the funny pages of the Ducktown Gazette and read for a while. Then I fell asleep. Little did I know, that while I was sleeping the Robotic Slug's had found my pad by simply looking through the phonebook. (Now I know why Momma Duck always said to get an unlisted number and always sleep without a bra on). I awoke with a start as the Robotic Slugs began their descent from the skylight in my first floor high-rise apartment. I started to.........(to be continued)...

Welcome

Well, here it is. My first ever attempt at blogging.