VooDoo Duck and the Robotic Slugs.

I started to get up when I realized that my feathers had been sprayed with some kind of adhesive made of slug slime which for the most part looks like snot. I mean really have you ever looked at the back of a slug while their moving around? Where does all of that gunk come from, it’s like they have a never ending supply of it, kind of like when you have a cold and you can just keep blowing your nose or beak over and over again and the stuff just keeps coming. But, I digress. I had to figure a way out of that slug slime. Which, by the way, confuses me. How does a robotic slug produce slime? Maybe they bottle the stuff up from the real slugs, or maybe it is some kind of slime analog? At any rate my VooDoo training reminded me that slug slime, or even generic slug slime, can be defeated after hardening by performing the ritual dance of the MooCluckRoo Cows of the palace of Marble Slab. It was a challenge for me to recall all of the steps to the ritual dance, but I had very little time so I began. Suddenly I remembered that I could not perform the crucial final move of the ritual dance because I am a duck and I can't do the utter shake. What would I do, the Robotic Slugs were now upon me. They began to laugh as only slugs can laugh. It is kind of a low gurgled sound mixed with the sound of those Monks that used to put out albums in the 90's, if you can imagine that. The sound of their laughter was as annoying to me as it was disgusting. I immediately performed a backward flip with as much grace as Don Knotts would have on Dancing with the Stars. I landed hard on the edge of my chair busting the slime crust that had held me immobile. Then the flurry began in earnest. I removed my aforementioned bra and used its small hooks to grab the rough edges of the slugs robotic bodies. By now you're probably wondering why a duck would wear a bra. Well, its a funny story really. When I was just a young duckling I had plumage issues. The feathers on my chest laid as flat as they possibly could. This did not help when trying to impress the girls. So I began to wear a bra at night for a little lift in plumage. Explanations aside, I began my assault yanking the strap back I sent the robotic slug into a whirl starting a flurry of electrical sparks. It caught the place on fire! Now, the thing most people would think of when their residence erupts in flames is, man I should put this fire out or get the heck outta here. However, my morbid fascination focused on a bunch of flaming robotic slugs and how their bodies would shrink up. So to kill two stones with one bird, I grabbed a 40lb bag of salt I had in the cupboard and flung it directly at the slugs and their accompanying fire. Now, at this point I had decided this would make a great picture for my scrapbook so I searched for my digital camera and my scrapbooking scissors that make the edges of my pictures and pages look like little zigzags. I abandoned the scissors because I knew not to run with them and went straight for my digital camera. I snapped a few shots of withering, robotic spark shooting, charred slug remains. What a site! I guess the salt had an extra purpose too, because they withered up real small making it easier to throw them into the garbage disposal in my sink. Now, let me tell you one other thing before I go on. Ducks have a different sense of smell than people so it’s not an even comparison for me to tell you this, but flaming salted robotic slugs let off a stench unbeknownst by man. I will try to describe it in human terms. If you have ever smelled a backed up sewer pipe, its kinda like that, but them add the smell of burning flesh and rotten marmalade and then add a pinch of sugar, because I'm not sure you can sweeten it but hey its worth a try right? I had to get some air so I stepped outside...